I was thinking lately about all bad or sad things that happened to me, starting with my grandma's death. Usually it's making me feel really depressed, but not this time. Something changed. I think it's because I'm really happy. Honestly and fully. I've spend a lot of time with Josh, which is always making me feel really happy, secured for some reason and most of all loved. The way he looks at me is magical. I felt like he's studying me and my body. He's so caring. I can't stop thinking about him, his touch, his eyes. About things he's saying or texting. I'm closing my eyes and I see it all again in my head. I can still feel his fingers. He's the best thing that happened to me. I don't even want to know how my life would have looked like without him. He's making everything easier and better. He helped me to go through April. He took my mind off the things I would have thought about all the time. I believe he's making me a better person. I'm so fucking happy to have him and I really won't let go of him that easily. And the thoughts about all the things that we can do... Can't wait for all of it. But for now I want to be supportive for him, because I'm sure it's really hard to go through this breakup. I'll wait as long as he needs me to wait for him to be ready. He's worth waiting.
