I don't really know who I am anymore. For real. It's not Jagoda I used to be. I wasn't like this. But now I am like this. This week was a total nightmare for me. I almost didn't finished my assignement on time. I was stressed all the time. I couldn't really sleep. But since the last post a lot of things happened. They're all connected with the word lust. Because that's what my life is all about right now. My desires and attemption to complete them. It started with Jacob, but now it's not really about who it is. I don't really care if it will be Jacob again, or Caleb this time. I've spend almost half an hour talking with Jacob how much I need a dick and he said that as long as we live together he can't help, but can help find me a dick. But here comes Caleb, who actually asked me to do some stuff with him when we come back in 2018. All I need to do is to remind him this. It's not like he's no longer provoking me to do this. It's just he always picks not really a good time for it. On Sunday I've slept in Jacob's room. Waking up next to someone else was really good. I mean it was kinda cute, when I opened my eyes and have seen Jacob's face so close to mine. Yesterday I've slept in Caleb's room. After all-nighter the day before, I was so tired I've fallen asleep in 2 minutes when we started watching a film. They said I looked like I'm in peace so they left me like this. I almost slept in his room again today, but they woke me up. But that's good. I think since tuesday he was sleeping everyday with me or Nika, so it's better for him. Also I have to go to work tomorrow. Anyway, we haven't done anything. And that's good as well, because I don't really know what kind of feelings Nika is having for him. First I need to find out, then I can start being more confident with him and the thing we agreed to do. That's funny, because guys here see me as some kind of sex addict, when the truth is that I'm still a virgin. So. Funny.
