I think I'll never be ready to talk about it. Not for real. I'm to fragile to say all this stuff out loud. It would break me. But I need to write down some of this. We will never be ready to die. At least not me. And I'm not ready for dead of the loved ones. We all know it needs to happen, but we don't want to think about it too much.
I don't want to think about it. I can't even write it down.
All I can say is... That I'm scared. And I'll totally break if I will write all this stuff down now.
I'm sorry. But I just can't. I want to be fine again. Find my way to go back to being happy all the time. So... No death talk for now.
Hopefully I will never finish this post.
